Deliberate choice

There have been many accidental pregnancies. But there is no such thing as an accidental adoption. To be adopted means you are someone's deliberate choice.

You are God's. deliberate. choice.



-from the sermon this morning

So loved

I am so loved.

I am so unworthy of this love.

Yet He loves me still.

I am not loved because I deserve it, but because He deserves to have what He shed His own blood to purchase and redeem. I am ransomed with the most precious of currency. The villain set the ransom as high as he could see. He had the opportunity to name his price for the souls of the Kings treasure, and he set his sights on the life of the Life Giver. Did he reckon that I would not be considered worth that infinite value? He reckoned wrong. For the Prince of the kings of the earth stepped forward and pledged to pay the ransom. Did he hope that in the attempt the Prince would fail and he would gain not only the life of the Prince but hold still the life of the treasure upon whom he could carry out his hellish plans? He hoped in vain. Though for a while he held Life in his death grip, through the darkest night when hope slept in cold stillness, his triumph was not to endure. For when the morning came, the Prince broke the chains and rose up from the bowels of the earth victor.

This world is filled with touching love stories. Grand tales of brave acts for treasured loves. But they are nothing. They do not begin to reach the height of the love of my Prince for me. I know me. I know the depths of this sinful heart. And He knows it even better. Yet He came after me anyway. And He does again and again. He calls me His treasure.

Treasure.

To think of myself as anything less...it would require pronouncing the one who fought to the death and poured out His very blood as payment for me, a liar. In the face of such love what can I say? I am speechless. I am broken. All I can do is let Him love me. And that is all He wants.

Let me love you. Let my love transform you. I see you not as you are, but as what my love can make you. You are mine. And I delight to call you such. I am not ashamed of you. You are my treasure. And I love you.

He calls me His own. And I may call Him mine. And He has gone, but He will return. His one desire, to have me with Him where He is. He counts the days. Days unknown. Anticipating the day. The day on which He will come to take me, His treasure...home.

Here He comes

Riding on a white horse

To pull me out from the midst of my enemy

My faithful one

Here He comes

To vanquish His enemies

Fighting with a fierce love

A love stronger than death

My true one

Soft in the stillness of night

Gentle and quiet

His voice assured me again

Child I’m not finished yet

Let your heart rest

I won’t let you slip through my fingers

He holds me

Oh He holds me so closely

I am His

And by His grace He is mine

No power can loosen His grip on me

I’m so tightly held by His mighty love

Here He comes

Riding on a white horse

To pull me out from the midst of my enemy

My faithful one

Here He comes

To vanquish His enemies

Fighting with a fierce love

A love stronger than death

My true one

*Here He Comes

By: Melissa Otto

Album: Blue Sky

His own

...unto Him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in His own blood...

His own blood...

It's not just animal blood.

No. It's His. His very own.

That struck me for whatever reason. Maybe it's how the narrator says that phrase on my audio Bible.

Narrator? What about John?

This isn't a second hand tale. This is the man's best friend telling me.

"I know this to be a fact. I know where that stuff came from. My friend is the one who saved you and made you clean again. I watched it spill out of Him. And He didn't use a generic brand. It was the real stuff...

I'm telling you. He loves you."

Loves me.

Washed. Clean.

Clean. That's a good feeling you know.

...loved us, and washed us...in His own blood...

Leaning Hard

The gravel squished into the soggy ground under my shoes. A grey sky reflected my heart, as my thoughts drifted with the clouds. It was raining. That part I was happy about and was relishing an umbrella-less Sabbath afternoon walk in the welcome drops. But I was lonely. I wanted to talk to a friend, and no one was available. I thought about the different places I knew some of them were.  Several friends were newly married or reveling in a blossoming relationship. I was all alone. 

"I'm here," a voice gently said. 

"I know You are. I'm sorry... And I want You to be enough, God. But... there's just something about a real, live person." My thoughts continued down a familiar trail. When will I be ready for a special someone? When will he find me? Now, for the most part, I am a very happy single. However, I think the girl’s heart will understand when I say I still long for the day when I can share life with my husband. This is a God-given desire. But I must be alert to the temptation to let my heart pine after the fulfilling of that dream. And some days it's harder than others.

Just then I remembered a quote I'd read in a magazine while tidying up the house the week before. It was in an article complied of excerpts from Grandma Ellen's writings. "Let all the sisters feel that if they haven't a husband to lean upon, they will lean more heavily upon God."*

Lean more heavily... My thought clouds began to settle on that phrase. I have the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to enjoy a closer relationship with God right now as a single girl than when I am married someday. I don't want to miss that privilege! I am His. And He is mine. What a thought! Isaiah 54:5 came to mind. "For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is His name." And it is my privilege to lean more heavily on Him during these years. 

But I must lean.

Suddenly the rain was a thousand voices whispering His love in my ears. The wind gently caressed my cheek. I slowed my pace, stopped, to just take in the scenery. Crouching on the side of the road, I studied the raindrops. What makes them linger there on the blades of grass like so many diamonds? There is a law set in place by my Maker that tells them to. I just stared, willing my eye to capture forever their simple yet matchless beauty. And all for me. For I was alone the only one to enjoy them.

The music in my pocket was aptly singing, "Your beauty shines, Your love surrounds..." It was true. I soaked up His love like the rain falling on my jacket. The loneliness took flight as the wings of a bird. 

Oh my Love, let me lean... And lean hard.

*The Upward Look p. 147

Thoughts on Love

Love. 

It fascinates me. A small word with many varied and often conflicting definitions. A word so distorted in our world. 

Yet it is still the word that my God chooses to describe the very essence of Himself. And He is as misunderstood as the word itself.

Love has been a big part of my life. His power over me has been something I only understood with the passing of time. But He has convinced me. He said His love is the only thing that can change me. And He was right. And it is changing me.

How to explain all that I want to... It is too much. Some of it cannot be explained. A few of you will understand. It can only be experienced. And oh I pray you will let Love convince you too! Please?

But Love changing you is not enough for Him. Once Love has made His dwelling in our hearts He desires to flow out. And the mighty power of His love is channeled through our lives to work the same unbelievable changes in the world around us as happened in our own lives. Such a small thing love is. But it is greater than the greatest empire, stronger than the army man, and will win where all else has lost.

"...the excellence and value of pure love consist in its efficiency to do good, and to do nothing else than good. Love will gain the victory when argument and authority are powerless. It is diffusive in its nature, and quiet in its operation, yet strong, mighty, to overcome great evils. It is melting and transforming in its influence, and will take hold of the lives of the sinful and affect their hearts when every other means has proved unsuccessful."

And our merciful Father values it highly.

"Love works not for profit nor reward; yet God has ordained that great gain shall be the certain result of every labor of love. Whatsoever is done out of pure love, be it ever so little or contemptible in the sight of men, is wholly fruitful; for God regards more with how much love one worketh, than the amount he doeth."

"Love should be cherished and cultivated, for its influence is divine."

Let Him love. 

Let Him live. 

Quotes from Gospel Workers 311, 312

To catch the end of a rainbow

It's been so dry. I miss the rain. We've been praying for rain.

But the lyrics of a certain song have been playing through my mind and escaping my lips of late. And I was finding joy even in the blazing sun. In these thoughts I left my editing and went down for the supper call.

As I refilled my empty cup with water for later my eyes rose to the kitchen window. And I stared in wonder. With bubbling delight...it was raining. But even more, it wasn't only pouring down. It was not lightning. 

I could go raindancing!

There is a little girl inside of me that jumps up and down and squeals with unconcealed delight when surprised by this kind of love note. That runs outside despising the protection of an umbrella or raincoat and with no shoes. That flees the porch and the shelter of the trees...out into the full force to embrace the torrent.

As I stood there letting it wash over me and soak me through, I lifted my face to the western sky. It opened up and the setting sun shone through the droplets and a picture better than a master artists painting unfolded before my eyes. Words cannot describe. I was speechless. 

Behind me a rainbow appeared. The little girl squealed again and ran to the back of the house. My eyes followed the bow to its beginning. It cut through the horizon and landed in the field only two-hundred feet away. The little girl wanted to run and catch it. Hold it. So much of me believed I could. If I'd had shoes on I would have tried.

I would have tried to catch the end of the rainbow....

Why can't we catch the end of a rainbow?* 

"I do set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be 

for a token of a covenant between me and the earth."*

Because His love and covenant know no end.

O, then may no one ever catch the end of a rainbow!

Let there forever be more. 

And let me never find the end of His promises.

*I Googled it. It's impossible.

*Gen 9:13

Photo Credits: Mom & Dad

Even more...

The gifts of Jesus are ever fresh and new. The feast that He provides for the soul never fails to give satisfaction and joy. Each new gift increases the capacity of the receiver to appreciate and enjoy the blessings of the Lord. He gives grace for grace. There can be no failure of supply. If you abide in Him, the fact that you receive a rich gift today insures the reception of a richer gift tomorrow....With every fresh revelation of His love, He declares to the receptive heart, 

"Believest thou? thou shalt see greater things than these." John 1:50. 

DA 148.3

Look who He invited...

Did you ever connect who the VIP were at Jesus Last Supper? A bunch of pretty pathetic characters

arguing.

prideful.

oblivious.

hmm...

Maybe I have a chance?

I write this blog not as the result of a theological session of thought. But after coming out of a deep dark hole. One I've found myself in more times than I want to admit. Honestly I'd be embarrassed to let you see the far too often real me. Just please don't look at all. Keep your gaze on Him.

But back to supper.

I found the following video as a result of reading through old emails from a very close friend. Amazing how God can use someone to still get to you who isn't even there at the time.

So He thinks that of me too? I guess I need to stop finding a different place to lay my sleeping bag when I feel rotten.

But would He have invited me to supper?

Rev 3:20

Ya. I guess He would.

P.S. If you need a follow up? watch this one.

Acts: The Revolution...

Come join the challenge...

The beginning.

Pleadings - part 2 {Mercy on a Mountain}

Can you feel the excitement of the throng? Can you imagine the thrill of the disciples who think that now, at long last, he is proclaiming himself king? And they will be honored at his side! Their human imaginations run wild...

And yet...

Can you know the solemness in the heart of Christ? Can you see through his eyes the same people in less than 5 days spitting in his face and asking for a murderer in his place? Can you feel the desperate longing in his heart for them to see and understand who he really is and what he has come for - to save them from an evil that binds them in a bondage more fearful than any earthly power could.

"While the Jews desired the advent of the Messiah, they had no true conception of His mission. They did not seek redemption from sin, but deliverance from the Romans. They looked for the Messiah to come as a conqueror, to break the oppressor’s power, and exalt Israel to universal dominion. Thus the way was prepared for them to reject the Saviour."1

Do I long for deliverance from the uncomfortable world and the circumstances I find myself (or get myself) into?

Or do I long for deliverance from sin itself?

Would I reject my Savior?

.....

They reach the brow of the hill and behold the beloved city. The sight is stunning. "From the crest of the hill where Jesus and His followers stood, it had the appearance of a massive structure of snow, set with golden pinnacles."2 The multitude is enraptured in the pride and glory of their nation. Turning to look at Christ they expect His face to reflect the awe and admiration felt by their own hearts. 

But instead they are shocked to see His eye brimmed with tears. He raises His hand as if trying to stop the wave of doom steadily approaching the self-assured nation with the now setting sun. His body sways with grief. A midst heart broken sobs the words escape His quivering lips, "'If thou hadst known, even thou, at least in this thy day, the things which belong unto thy peace!—' Here the Saviour paused, and left unsaid what might have been the condition of Jerusalem had she accepted the help that God desired to give her,—the gift of His beloved Son."3

His beloved Son. 

As one version puts it...His cherished Son.

Not just a temple, the pride and glory of a nation...

The glory and majesty of heaven itself. This gift...come to die for her.

.....

"He takes up the broken thread of His lamentation: 'But now they are hid from thine eyes. For the days shall come upon thee, that thine enemies shall cast a trench about thee, and compass thee round, and keep thee in on every side, and shall lay thee even with the ground, and thy children within thee; and they shall not leave in thee one stone upon another; because thou knewest not the time of thy visitation.'"4

His child. Like a father morning for his son. He weeps, heart pulsating with pain. " How can I give thee up? How can I see thee devoted to destruction? Must I let thee go to fill up the cup of thine iniquity?"5

Must I let thee go?

"One soul is of such value that, in comparison with it, worlds sink into insignificance; 

"but here was a whole nation to be lost. 

"When the fast westering sun should pass from sight in the heavens, Jerusalem’s day of grace would be ended. While the procession was halting on the brow of Olivet, it was not yet too late for Jerusalem to repent. The angel of mercy was then folding her wings to step down from the golden throne to give place to justice and swift-coming judgment. But Christ’s great heart of love still pleaded for Jerusalem, that had scorned His mercies, despised His warnings, and was about to imbrue her hands in His blood. If Jerusalem would but repent, it was not yet too late. While the last rays of the setting sun were lingering on temple, tower, and pinnacle, would not some good angel lead her to the Saviour’s love, and avert her doom? 

"Beautiful and unholy city, that had stoned the prophets, that had rejected the Son of God, that was locking herself by her impenitence in fetters of bondage,—her day of mercy was almost spent!"6

He pleads. Mercy pleads. For you. For me. His hand stretches out still.

Am I letting the last rays of sun set on my day of grace?

Will I let His desperate pleas be in vain?

1) DA 29.4

2) DA 575.2

3) DA 576.3

4) DA 577.1

5) DA 577.3

6) Ibid.

Overwhelmed...

A word that has too often in my life described me. But this time it's in a good way.

The 5 weeks since I left AFCOE have been very full. From GYC, to lessons at home, to talks with friends, to new revelations of God, to an amazing blessing that I truly feel I have not room enough to receive!

I find myself at the dining room table of dear friends. Friends who have given without asking in return. Friends who will never know how much their kindness means to me.

I love surprises. And I got to give a big one this weekend! I'm in Michigan visiting more friends than I even knew I had up here. :) Last Friday night Abigail walked into vespers with no clue I would be there. Her reaction was priceless. My AFCOE classmate, Christian Smith, was quite taken back to see me walk into church. Other friends didn't even believe it could be me and had to ask what my name was.

Things don't just happen...

Friday I "happened" to run into a friend at PMC when Glesni and I "happened" to be there for her to practice the organ. Dana "happened" to invite me to come with her to her Muslim Relations class and to the Mosque afterwards. I skipped the class, but at the last minute went with them to the Mosque. Sitting there all wrapped up in my head scarf I figured it was just an interesting experience. However, the next day during the Louis Torres training weekend being held at the Hartford church... Abby and I went on outreach together. We "happened" to be given this particular territory. We only had less an hour and knew we'd only probably be able to finish one street. We "happened" to decide to start at the far end of one of the streets. While standing out side the van picking which side we would take and which side Glesni and her team would take a lady opened he door and called out, "No, thank you. We're not interested. We are Muslim." My mouth dropped open. The Mosque! I wished so bad I could have talked to her. She hadn't even given us a chance to say who we were or what we were doing! But she had said no to Glesni's team. Not me! :) "Abby, would you go back with me if I went and tried to talk to that lady?" With a little fear and trepidation Abby agreed to go. Before we got to the door she opened it and pleasantly repeated to us her rejection. But I started talking immediately and excitedly told her I had just visited a Mosque for the first time the day before. "Oh really?" she replied. I told her who we were and that we were doing a survey to discover the needs in the community and that there were a variety of things on there some of which she may be interested in..."like health and family!" :) She readily took the survey and filled it out and checked for the health classes. While she scratched away I talked to her little girl peering up at us from just inside the door. I asked her if she liked the snow and if she'd gotten to play in it. She replied with a nod and a smile. "Have you made a snowman yet?" I asked with enthusiasm. "No, it's too cold," she explained. "I haven't built a snowman in a long time!" I said, "Do you think I'm too big to build snowmen?" She thought about that for a moment and then shyly gave a nod. Abby and I giggled and told each other later that we would build a snowman with each other! The mother handed the survey back. We thanked her for her time and said good bye.

It all just happened, right? :) I think not. I was thrilled and look back and see how God had orchestrated events and circumstances to culminate in that meeting. You know, I had the chance of coming to MI in February instead of this week. :)

I am blessed... And I'm only 3 days into this adventure! By the way, we got 30+ Bible study requests from 20+ teams out of less than an hour of knocking on doors. According to those who have been here for a while, that has never been seen. A true miracle they say. Christian Smith now has 55 Bible study leads to follow up on. I'm going to join him when he goes out this Thursday to visit some of them. Can't wait!

Pleadings - part 1 {Perceptions of a Procession}

It is the last week of his life. Up until this time he has sought to be somewhat in the shadows though often unsuccessful. Now yet again they fan the flame of hope that he will be their king and rescuer from the oppressive power they find themselves under. And unlike all the other times he now seems to accept it.

Leaving Bethany with the multitude that had gathered about Him there, He turns His face for the last time steadfastly towards the beloved city.  Excitement reigns. Seated on a borrowed colt the King of the universe is led in a growing processional prophesied five hundred years before as the promised heir to David's throne. The people know exactly what the picture before them symbolizes. It has been repeated by many kings of Israel. They are sure their hour of deliverance has at long last come and hail him as their Messiah and king.

Or so they think...

He seems to be acting in such contrast from the rest of His life and mission. "Never before in His earthly life had Jesus permitted such a demonstration. He clearly foresaw the result.

"It would bring Him to the cross."1

His actions were not, as it seemed, a consent to the will and wish of the throng about Him. The action was calculated to center their attention on Him for the final act of His mission. "It would be needful for His church in all succeeding ages to make His death for the sins of the world a subject of deep thought and study. ...the events which preceded His great sacrifice must be such as to call attention to the sacrifice itself.

"After such a demonstration as that attending His entry into Jerusalem, all eyes would follow His rapid progress to the final scene."2

Hear Him pleading...

Look at me...


Watch me die...


for you.

"The events connected with this triumphal ride would be the talk of every tongue, and would bring Jesus before every mind. After His crucifixion, many would recall these events in their connection with His trial and death. They would be led to search the prophecies, and would be convinced that Jesus was the Messiah; and in all lands converts to the faith would be multiplied."3

Do I by my life, be it a humble lot or exalted station, calculate my every action to point their eyes to His superlative sacrifice?

Would I do what He bids me even if I knew the results will be my demise?

Would I...

The events which preceded His great sacrifice must be such as to call attention to the sacrifice itself.  


He clearly foresaw the result. 

"It would bring Him to the cross."

1) DA 571.2
2) Ibid.
3) DA 571.3

Dream come true!

I will be doing sign language, with my deaf friend Monique Christiansen, for the appeal song at the evening meeting tonight at GYC. You can watch all the main meetings online at gycweb.org. And pray for us! :)

Anxious?

My first week off school has been kind of rough. I now have to put into real life practice the lessons God taught me through the last four months. I haven't had the greatest start at it. But I can say we are making progress. My biggest fear has been the future. I feel like I just flew off the end of a cliff and I don't know where to land. I don't know where God wants me to be. What am I supposed to do with everything I just learned? I need to start classes for ASL soon. I have no job prospects. How am I going to pay my bills and afford school? So my thoughts were turning anxious as they so often do. It is my struggle. I think God is purposely putting me in straight places to get me to relax in His hands. Has He ever failed me yet? No. So what am I worried about? Good question. There are things I'm worried about, but they still are not good excuses.

I confess I have kept late nights lately and have spent a lot of time thinking in those dark hours. It has only created knots in my stomach and burdens. So this morning in my quiet time God decided to speak straight to me. I just finished the book I had been reading for devotions (God In Pain. A must read!). So I was browsing through devotionals looking for what I should study. I was headed to study more of my new pet-topic the knowledge of God. As I open the Bible software I noticed the Morning and Evening Reading devotional by C. H. Spurgeon. {chuckles} God couldn't make it any clearer. Look for yourself.

Morning, December 19 - 


         “The lot is cast into the lap, but the whole disposing thereof is of the Lord.” 
                                                                                             — Proverbs 16:33


If the disposal of the lot is the Lord’s whose is the arrangement of our whole life? If the simple casting of a lot is guided by him, how much more the events of our entire life—especially when we are told by our blessed Saviour: “The very hairs of your head are all numbered: not a sparrow falleth to the ground without your Father.” It would bring a holy calm over your mind, dear friend, if you were always to remember this. It would so relieve your mind from anxiety, that you would be the better able to walk in patience, quiet, and cheerfulness as a Christian should. When a man is anxious he cannot pray with faith; when he is troubled about the world, he cannot serve his Master, his thoughts are serving himself. If you would “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness,” all things would then be added unto you. You are meddling with Christ’s business, and neglecting your own when you fret about your lot and circumstances. You have been trying “providing” work and forgetting that it is yours to obey. Be wise and attend to the obeying, and let Christ manage the providing. Come and survey your Father’s storehouse, and ask whether he will let you starve while he has laid up so great an abundance in his garner? Look at his heart of mercy; see if that can ever prove unkind! Look at his inscrutable wisdom; see if that will ever be at fault. Above all, look up to Jesus Christ your Intercessor, and ask yourself, while he pleads, can your Father deal ungraciously with you? If he remembers even sparrows, will he forget one of the least of his poor children? “Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he will sustain thee. He will never suffer the righteous to be moved.” 

         My soul, rest happy in thy low estate,

         Nor hope nor wish to be esteem’d or great;

         To take the impress of the Will Divine,

         Be that thy glory, and those riches thine.

Spurgeon, C. H. (2006). Morning and evening : Daily readings (Complete and unabridged; New modern edition.). Peabody, MA: Hendrickson Publishers.

Rain dancing

When I began my experience at the age of 16 my Prince took me on his wings and flew me over His mountains. I was in awe, captivated, and impressed. I was thrilled that this was what I was to call home.  But then two years later He landed in the valley and let me off, telling me that the journey home was to begin there. I don't think I was listening close enough to hear that. Journey? What journey? I was too excited by what I'd seen that when my feet hit the ground I gleefully started running towards the slopes. I quickly found myself on the ground in a heap and realized they were far away now. For the next few years I struggled and wandered. Attempting at times to get back to where I thought I'd been on the mountain. But flying over the mountains is much different than climbing them. I thought for a while maybe I had fallen off track somewhere. I'd missed a turn. Now slowly I'm beginning to understand. The heights are not reached in a day.

I always dreaded trials. I thought they were to be endured. I couldn't understand why Paul said he rejoiced in his sufferings. Jesus said to leap for joy. James said to count it all joy. I didn't. I thought I just had to figure something out and I would be back on the heights in no time. This journey, this stumbling along lost and lonely, the pain, the rain, the storms would end someday. But slowly, gradually something has been happening in me. I don't know how God did it. My view of trials blessings and rain has been changing. After a couple years I began making it across the valley. I started catching on to the purpose of trials. I was beginning to understand but I was only playing at the foothills. It's only been in the last 6 months especially that the picture has been coming together.

The pain, the loneliness, the rain...have been my biggest blessings. It has been trough those times that I have come to know my Prince. His strength, His beauty, His wisdom, His love, His depth, His sufficiency, His individuality..... And I've learned that rain is beautiful. Pain is so healing. And progress is often made crying and crawling on your hands and knees. Gripping the cold wet earth and fighting your way through the storm. It's nothing like the flight over the mountains. But it is so much deeper. I'm beginning to learn to embrace the flame and let it burn. Let it hurt. Don't run a way from it. And my Prince is confirming these lessons in so many ways.

Fall came to Weimar last week and brought the rain. I had been almost craving rain. It came at just the right time and just the wrong time. The cold was refreshing. But it triggered major homesickness. Christmas carols (no shame) started sneaking into my room and I was dreaming of an evening snuggled between my mom and dad reading a good book in front of the wood stove. When the rain came Wednesday night I was really having a hard time. My best friend came into the dorm all wet from the rain. She would understand exactly what I'm trying to explain here. Her companionship in the last several years of this journey has been one of the biggest gifts God has given me. With one knowing smile at each other we took off for a much needed "rain dance". There's really no dancing involved, just walking with no umbrella. Rain dancing in Nebraska is a rare treat since the rain is usually accompanied by lightening. So I hadn't gotten to do it in a long time. We walked a half a mile and just soaked it in, stopping in the dark to just listen.

When you learn to dance in the rain you can begin to rejoice when it comes. You don't run for cover. Your not afraid of it. You embrace it. You begin to crave it. Because there is a feeling like nothing else can bring.

I know there will be many more opportunities to embrace the "rain" in the weeks to come. My strength has long since been spent. But now I see this is where my Prince wanted me to be all along. Flying on His wings doesn't mean near as much when your own are itching to take the skies and you think you can do it. But when your strength is gone. When you've been trudging up the slope with your last ounce. When you realize you can't take another step. Then you feel the strength in His arms around you.

Perhaps fear is losing his grip on me. Love is casting him out.

His ear

This is something I wrote almost two years ago when nannnying two of my nieces...


“Mommy, I went down the slide! Look at me, Mommy, I went down the slide all by myself!” But Mommy didn’t hear. She was deep in conversation with her friend as they walked around the play ground. So the little girl ran off to a new adventure. A while later her mother was again passing by and the child called out, “Mommy, watch me.” Still her Mother did not recognize the voice of her child eager to display her new achievement. “Mommy!” she cried louder, but with no answer. Again and again she called without a response. I thought I saw a look of disappointment in her eyes, but as her mother was now too far away to hear she went back to her play.

As I sat there watching this scene unfold, the words of Isaiah 59:1 came to my mind. “Behold, the LORD's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; Nor His ear heavy, That it cannot hear.” I heard my Prince gently say to me, “My ear is always tuned to your voice. Even above all the din of a universe, when you call I will hear. I can hear the silent pleas of your heart. I know my child’s call.” I went home and began to look up all the places in the Bible where God hears, and I found a load of promises.

“The everlasting portals will open wide to the trembling touch of a little child.” COL 404

“I love the LORD because he hears and answers my prayers. Because he bends down and listens, I will pray as long as I have breath!” Psalms 116:1, 2 NLT

“He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry reached his ears.” Psalms 18:6

“I cried out to the LORD, and he answered me from his holy mountain.” Psalms 3:4

He said, "I cried out to the LORD in my great trouble, and he answered me. I called to you from the world of the dead, and LORD, you heard me!” Jonah 2:2

"Only Room for One"

To Jesus Christ my life I give
my mind, my heart, my soul.
If I for Christ alone would live
I must all others forgo.

There is not room for two in me
an idol and my God.
For a time they struggled me to have
a battle fiercely fought.

My idols left me wounded
empty, filled with grief.
But when in my heart I let Jesus
'twas then that I had peace.

-Jenae Elizabeth 2011

One question...

Why are you a Christian?

He knows the way that I take...

Many are unable to make definite plans for the future. Their life is unsettled. They cannot discern the outcome of affairs, and this often fills them with anxiety and unrest. Let us remember that the life of God's children in this world is a pilgrim life. We have not wisdom to plan our own lives. It is not for us to shape our future. "By faith Abraham, when he was called to go out into a place which he should after receive for an inheritance, obeyed; and he went out, not knowing whither he went." Hebrews 11:8. Christ in His life on earth made no plans for Himself. He accepted God's plans for Him, and day by day the Father unfolded His plans. So should we depend upon God, that our lives may be the simple outworking of His will. As we commit our ways to Him, He will direct our steps. Too many, in planning for a brilliant future, make an utter failure. Let God plan for you. As a little child,trust to the guidance of Him who will "keep the feet of His saints." 1 Samuel 2:9. God never leads His children otherwise than they would choose to be led, if they could see the end from the beginning and discern the glory of the purpose which they are fulfilling as co-workers with Him. ~Ministry of Healing p. 478-479

Brighten the corner where you are...

There are many who have given themselves to Christ, yet who see no opportunity of doing a large work or making great sacrifices in His service. These may find comfort in the thought that it is not necessarily the martyr's self-surrender which is most acceptable to God; it may not be the missionary who has daily faced danger and death, that stands highest in heaven's records. The Christian who is such in his private life, in the daily surrender of self, in sincerity of purpose and purity of thought, in meekness under provocation, in faith and piety, in fidelity in that which is least, the one who in the home life represents the character of Christ, --such a one may in the sight of God be more precious than even the world-renowned missionary or martyr.--Christ's Object Lessons, p. 403.


The humblest and poorest of the disciples of Jesus can be a blessing to others. They may not realize that they are doing any special good, but by their unconscious influence they may start waves of blessing that will widen and deepen, and the blessed results they may never know until the day of final reward. They do not feel or know that they are doing anything great. They are not required to weary themselves with anxiety about success. They have only to go forward quietly, doing faithfully the work that God's providence assigns, and their life will not be in vain. Their own souls will be growing more and more into the likeness of Christ; they are workers together with God in this life, and are thus fitting for the higher work and the unshadowed joy of the life to come.--Steps to Christ, p. 83.