Positivity

Positivity is a good thing. I think we would all agree on that. It is powerful. But positivity alone is not enough. Have you noticed one of the most optimistic people to have ever lived is also the most evil person who has ever lived?

The devil has touted for over six thousand years, against all evidence, that he will win this war. He even knows now that he will not, but he refuses to admit it or back down. He has optimism down pat. And he has convinced a lot of people that he is right against all the evidence through out history.

No matter how positive you are about something, if it is a lie your optimism will not make it right. You must be positive about truth. You must be optimistic about what is reality.

And one thing I know is truth is that the dragon has never ever, not once won a battle with the King. He lost the most important battle on the bloody hill of calvary. Now all that remains is for his kingdom and its effects to be irradiated forever.

Sure, we look around us, even inward to our own lives, and sometimes it appears as though God is losing battles, sometimes as if He is not even putting up a fight. But that isn’t true. His infallible Word promises that He is fighting and will win overwhelmingly. (The only thing the devil can win is a human heart that surrenders itself to him and doesn’t let God fight for it. Something to take seriously.) The war is not over yet. It may take a while for truth to be seen with our eyes. We live by faith after all. But when it is all said and done, truth will triumph and every story in which the enemy appears now to have won will have the last line written. They are only unfinished stories.

Every situation, every apparent triumph of the Serpent that is given to the Prince of Love and Captain of the Lord’s host will become a trophy of grace. Every one.

And that is something you can be positive about.

But Love Said...

Written November 23, 2013

Evil said "I will steal the summer and bring cold winds whipping through. And pierce them with winters, icy blasts."

But Love said "But I will give them fire. And as they draw close to it, it warming them through, I will remind them that in me they will find warmth against the icy blasts of the world."

Evil said "I will strip the trees bare and leave their ugly skeletons." 

But Love said "But before they give up their green life I will turn them colors of the rainbow to cheer the hearts of earth. And it will remind them that there is beauty even in death. And to let Love show His colors in you to your last breath, is to live and to bless the lives of others."

Evil said "I will send ice and snow to stay their way and chill them to the bone."

But Love said "I will make the billion snowflakes each unique. As unique as every child I've fashioned that they may know their preciousness to me. And I will set a million diamonds sparkling across the frozen scape to dazzle their eyes. And it will show them that even when all seems cold and lifeless I will set diamonds in them that will shine with my beauty."

Evil said, "I will lengthen the shadows and drag the dark winter night on and on."

But Love said, "I will make the moon to shine with breathtaking beauty across the blanketed land. As they look up in the crisp air through silhouetted branches to stellar sky above and all the stars twinkling brighter, I will remind my children it is often in their darkest night when my beauty shines brightest. And there is no night so long that it is not broken with morning."

Evil said, "I will bring dark clouds, gray and gloom."

But Love said, "And if in the long night dark clouds block their view, I will remind them the stars still shine behind the clouds. And they will shine again. I will shine again. For I am Love. Stronger than death."

Love had the last word. 

After long silence...

It's been a long time. Nearly one year. I've wanted to write for a while. But I wasn't sure how to start again; kind of felt like I should say a formal 'hello again' first.

A blog. They're used for lots of things. Mine feels more like a journal. I don't know that I write for an audience. It feels more like I'm writing to someone. I see individuals. Nameless, faceless individuals.

My blog is a place for me. A place where I come to spill some of my cup running over. Other times it's a place where I come to drink. My soul is dry. Or hurting. And somehow in writing I am filled.

I don't expect anyone to listen. To read. I am nothing special as me. But I love Someone very special. And He's done a lot for me. I just want others to now that. I want to sing like a little bird perched high on a branch unaware of others passing by. I want to sing for Him. But my heart prays if anyone is listening it will make them want to know Him too.

This world is a hurting place. It's so hard to watch so many people hurt. But even more when they don't know or won't accept the healing my Friend offers. I want to tell them He loves them. And it's not Him who hurts them. He wants to heal them.

I've hurt too. Sometimes I wonder how much I should share of my journey. It's close to my heart. It's sacred. It's not something I want to lightly display for curious eyes. But I want so bad to tell what He's done. And for others to understand and see that what I say is not cliché. It's real. It's painfully real. It's gut wrenching sobs real. And it's overwhelmed by love real.

The silence between the previous post and this holds much. A story I would have written so differently. A story I many times feared was going to end tragically. But friend, never under estimate Grace. I never thought it would happen, but I can look into His eyes and say, "Thank you."

Oh how do I make you see? What words can I use to paint a picture of the face of Grace? Please look. Close your eyes. And look. Listen. Hear. Please....

So here begins a new chapter in this blog. May I be real. May I never make you think I have something you don't. We have the same Savior. And He is the only thing that makes us anything. I share not because I want to brag. No no. My only wish is for you, dear friend, to know His heart too. To come to the place where you can crawl in His lap. Be wrapped in His arms. In all your broken filthiness. And let Him love you. Oh what that would do!

I owe much of my experience to friends of Grace. Those who have prayed me through the darkness. Held me when I was afraid of His arms. Had faith for me when I had none. Told me again and again what He looked like when I couldn't see. Promised me I would rise again. Told me their stories and shared their healing with me. I just want to be that for somebody else. To speak in my voice His love, hope, forgiveness, patience, and grace and pray that someone needs to hear it in my language.

Welcome to...

              The healing place

Are they tears that stain the grass in the morning?
Betrayal of a night long and cold?
Why the sparkle when morning sun rises?
Can sorrow and anguish really beauty hold?
How much time to transform pain?
Can tears become diamonds of worth?
Is there no shortcut to life and freedom
without the pain and struggle of birth?

Well inside

Hot sun. Long walk. Sore heart.

"May I have a drink?"

Why in the world is he talking to me. "Oh uh... Just curious, why are you asking me? I mean I'm what some of you refer to as a dog, and even worse, I'm a woman. Your kind doesn't usually like to have anything to do with my kind."

"If you knew God and the person talking to you, you would have asked him to give you a drink. And you would have gotten water like you can't find anywhere else. Living water."

"Um pardon me sir, but you forgot to bring anything to get the water out with. I mean I can understand if you've never been here before, then you wouldn't know that this well is really deep. I still haven't found the bottom of it. And where do you propose to get water better than this? This is Jacob's well. Jacob, the great patriarch, the one who saw angels and spoke to God. I guess maybe that's one reason I still come here. I mean of course I need water. Can't live without it. But I guess, too, I figure if Jacob stood here once up on a time maybe his God stood here too and left some sort of holiness here somehow. Maybe I hope that someday I'll reach the bottom of this well and find Him, at least a lingering fragment...

Have you ever heard about Jacob? Well of course you have. So I guess you don't need me to tell you, if you think your bigger and better then Jacob, there's some people around here who might laugh. Jacob's pretty respected and revered."

"Oh daughter, you don't have to come to Jacob's well to be satisfied. Haven't you found that you keep having to come? It's never enough? You can't live off a Jacob's God. But if you would take and drink of the water I have to offer, it would satisfy truly. It would become your own well inside. A well by which a God who wants to be your God would love to rest and talk with you."

"...I'd like that. Would you give me this water so I don't have to come here anymore?"

"Go and bring your husband."

"Um... I don't have one."

"I know."

Head down in shameful silence.

"This well isn't the only place you've sought fulfillment. All five husbands have left you. Broken and empty still. But even though you know they hold no promise you find yourself stuck in this cycle, with self-worth so low now you let men use you without commitment."

"You know, not even some of the people in town know as much as you just told me. I take back what I said earlier. Maybe you do rank as high as Jacob. And I've been wondering about something for a long time. I mean, I'll confess, even though it's not popular with everyone these days, I am searching for God. And since you seem to know something about Him, could you tell me, my ancestors worshiped there on that mountain. But your people say God is to be found in the temple at Jerusalem. Who's right?"

"Let me let you in on something. Pretty soon you won't find God in this mountain or at the temple in Jerusalem. You all don't even know what you're worshiping. We do. Salvation will come from the Jews. But let me tell you, an event is about to happen that will shatter the way everyone who is really finding God worships. An event that will shift the whole picture of God. An event that will show what He is really like. And what He really thinks of you. God doesn't want people to worship Him as a thing or as a place.  Not as some God who shadowed the life of a man now dead, but as He is in truth...a real present reality. He wants worship from your heart. He wants one on one relationship. Not between Himself and a mass of people. Not as a God who found a select few from the past as worthy of His blessing. But as a God who finds each and every soul a place He longs to linger. Even you, the dog woman. He wants the worship in your heart."

"Hmm... I'm not sure I understand all you just said. But I know one event everyone, and I'll admit even I am looking forward to is the coming of the Promised One, the Messiah. He's supposed to be able to explain everything. I know it's probably too much to hope for, but I hope to meet Him..."

"You have. I am that event. Oh daughter, let me dig in the soil of your soul. A well deep and pure and sweet. A well inside. And let me fill it."

Running. Free.

"You've got to come. He's here. It's got to be Him. He talked to me like He knew me through and through. To me! And now there's a well inside. I can't hold it in."

.... 

Two days later.

....

"Thank you. We believe too. We're now drinking our fill, not out of your well, but from the one He dug. The well inside."

So loved

I am so loved.

I am so unworthy of this love.

Yet He loves me still.

I am not loved because I deserve it, but because He deserves to have what He shed His own blood to purchase and redeem. I am ransomed with the most precious of currency. The villain set the ransom as high as he could see. He had the opportunity to name his price for the souls of the Kings treasure, and he set his sights on the life of the Life Giver. Did he reckon that I would not be considered worth that infinite value? He reckoned wrong. For the Prince of the kings of the earth stepped forward and pledged to pay the ransom. Did he hope that in the attempt the Prince would fail and he would gain not only the life of the Prince but hold still the life of the treasure upon whom he could carry out his hellish plans? He hoped in vain. Though for a while he held Life in his death grip, through the darkest night when hope slept in cold stillness, his triumph was not to endure. For when the morning came, the Prince broke the chains and rose up from the bowels of the earth victor.

This world is filled with touching love stories. Grand tales of brave acts for treasured loves. But they are nothing. They do not begin to reach the height of the love of my Prince for me. I know me. I know the depths of this sinful heart. And He knows it even better. Yet He came after me anyway. And He does again and again. He calls me His treasure.

Treasure.

To think of myself as anything less...it would require pronouncing the one who fought to the death and poured out His very blood as payment for me, a liar. In the face of such love what can I say? I am speechless. I am broken. All I can do is let Him love me. And that is all He wants.

Let me love you. Let my love transform you. I see you not as you are, but as what my love can make you. You are mine. And I delight to call you such. I am not ashamed of you. You are my treasure. And I love you.

He calls me His own. And I may call Him mine. And He has gone, but He will return. His one desire, to have me with Him where He is. He counts the days. Days unknown. Anticipating the day. The day on which He will come to take me, His treasure...home.

Here He comes

Riding on a white horse

To pull me out from the midst of my enemy

My faithful one

Here He comes

To vanquish His enemies

Fighting with a fierce love

A love stronger than death

My true one

Soft in the stillness of night

Gentle and quiet

His voice assured me again

Child I’m not finished yet

Let your heart rest

I won’t let you slip through my fingers

He holds me

Oh He holds me so closely

I am His

And by His grace He is mine

No power can loosen His grip on me

I’m so tightly held by His mighty love

Here He comes

Riding on a white horse

To pull me out from the midst of my enemy

My faithful one

Here He comes

To vanquish His enemies

Fighting with a fierce love

A love stronger than death

My true one

*Here He Comes

By: Melissa Otto

Album: Blue Sky

His own

...unto Him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in His own blood...

His own blood...

It's not just animal blood.

No. It's His. His very own.

That struck me for whatever reason. Maybe it's how the narrator says that phrase on my audio Bible.

Narrator? What about John?

This isn't a second hand tale. This is the man's best friend telling me.

"I know this to be a fact. I know where that stuff came from. My friend is the one who saved you and made you clean again. I watched it spill out of Him. And He didn't use a generic brand. It was the real stuff...

I'm telling you. He loves you."

Loves me.

Washed. Clean.

Clean. That's a good feeling you know.

...loved us, and washed us...in His own blood...

Look who He invited...

Did you ever connect who the VIP were at Jesus Last Supper? A bunch of pretty pathetic characters

arguing.

prideful.

oblivious.

hmm...

Maybe I have a chance?

I write this blog not as the result of a theological session of thought. But after coming out of a deep dark hole. One I've found myself in more times than I want to admit. Honestly I'd be embarrassed to let you see the far too often real me. Just please don't look at all. Keep your gaze on Him.

But back to supper.

I found the following video as a result of reading through old emails from a very close friend. Amazing how God can use someone to still get to you who isn't even there at the time.

So He thinks that of me too? I guess I need to stop finding a different place to lay my sleeping bag when I feel rotten.

But would He have invited me to supper?

Rev 3:20

Ya. I guess He would.

P.S. If you need a follow up? watch this one.