So loved

I am so loved.

I am so unworthy of this love.

Yet He loves me still.

I am not loved because I deserve it, but because He deserves to have what He shed His own blood to purchase and redeem. I am ransomed with the most precious of currency. The villain set the ransom as high as he could see. He had the opportunity to name his price for the souls of the Kings treasure, and he set his sights on the life of the Life Giver. Did he reckon that I would not be considered worth that infinite value? He reckoned wrong. For the Prince of the kings of the earth stepped forward and pledged to pay the ransom. Did he hope that in the attempt the Prince would fail and he would gain not only the life of the Prince but hold still the life of the treasure upon whom he could carry out his hellish plans? He hoped in vain. Though for a while he held Life in his death grip, through the darkest night when hope slept in cold stillness, his triumph was not to endure. For when the morning came, the Prince broke the chains and rose up from the bowels of the earth victor.

This world is filled with touching love stories. Grand tales of brave acts for treasured loves. But they are nothing. They do not begin to reach the height of the love of my Prince for me. I know me. I know the depths of this sinful heart. And He knows it even better. Yet He came after me anyway. And He does again and again. He calls me His treasure.

Treasure.

To think of myself as anything less...it would require pronouncing the one who fought to the death and poured out His very blood as payment for me, a liar. In the face of such love what can I say? I am speechless. I am broken. All I can do is let Him love me. And that is all He wants.

Let me love you. Let my love transform you. I see you not as you are, but as what my love can make you. You are mine. And I delight to call you such. I am not ashamed of you. You are my treasure. And I love you.

He calls me His own. And I may call Him mine. And He has gone, but He will return. His one desire, to have me with Him where He is. He counts the days. Days unknown. Anticipating the day. The day on which He will come to take me, His treasure...home.

Here He comes

Riding on a white horse

To pull me out from the midst of my enemy

My faithful one

Here He comes

To vanquish His enemies

Fighting with a fierce love

A love stronger than death

My true one

Soft in the stillness of night

Gentle and quiet

His voice assured me again

Child I’m not finished yet

Let your heart rest

I won’t let you slip through my fingers

He holds me

Oh He holds me so closely

I am His

And by His grace He is mine

No power can loosen His grip on me

I’m so tightly held by His mighty love

Here He comes

Riding on a white horse

To pull me out from the midst of my enemy

My faithful one

Here He comes

To vanquish His enemies

Fighting with a fierce love

A love stronger than death

My true one

*Here He Comes

By: Melissa Otto

Album: Blue Sky

Unbelief

He rebuked the Red Sea also, and it dried up; so He led them through the depths as through a pastureland. Psalm 106:9 (AMP)

This verse struck me. He turned the impassable impossibility into a meadow. And their terrified faces turned to expressions of amazement and joy. And after the roaring waves had crashed back down on there pursuing enemies they sang. (vs 10-12)

Soon they are on the boarder of a pleasant land. The one that has for generations been the promised possession of their people. Yet after all they have seen, they don't think He can give it to them. It's owned by impossibly powerful people!

It was unbelief that kept them out for another 40 years...wandering in the wilderness.

The people refused to enter the pleasant land, for they wouldn't believe his promise to care for them.  (vs 24 NLT)

At one point in the saga it says, They traded their glorious God for a statue of a grass-eating bull. (v. 20 NLT)

They sound like a pretty dumb and wretched bunch...

Until you remember the times you've traded your glorious God for a "grass-eating bull".

No. We're not much better.

How many times have I lived doubt? Doubt that God could take care of me? Doubt that He would even want to? It's called unbelief. And it kept them out of the promised land. And it could be keeping me out too.

For forty years did unbelief, murmuring, and rebellion shut out ancient Israel from the land of Canaan. The same sins have delayed the entrance of modern Israel into the heavenly Canaan. Ev 696.2

This point comes out to me over and over again in the Bible.

And he did not many mighty works there because of their unbelief. Matthew 13:58

So we see that because of their unbelief they were not able to enter his rest. Hebrews 3:19

But there is hope! A father once struggled with unbelief. But Jesus did not send Him away. He only asked that he express his belief and show his faith, mustard seed though it was. And with that faith the Savior commanded demons to flee. And they did.

Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth. And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief. Mar 9:23-24 KJV

When thoughts of unbelief and distrust come to you, remember that silence is eloquence. Speak no words of unbelief, for such words are as seeds that will spring up and bear fruit. CTr 120.6 

Cast yourself at His feet with the cry, "Lord, I believe; help Thou mine unbelief." You can never perish while you do this--never. DA 429.1

Never.

Oh Father, forgive my unbelief, and may I never again turn from you to a grass-eating bull. 

Red Sea

They had cried. He had heard. The Cloud shields them as they make their escape. Moses hand's raise and the water rushes back. Through a miraculous path they flee as children through a secret passage. Hearts slowing with at least a bit of relief. Ah, they see what He's doing now. He is mighty after all. The last one crosses safe.

But horror grips them with multiplied fear as they see the Mighty One seems to have left the secret door a jar. Their enemy is charging at them once again...on the very same miraculous path! Why? How could He? What is He thinking?

Sometimes it seems God opens a way of escape just to let the enemy pursue me on that same path. What is He thinking?

Much greater things than I had imagined.

Sometimes instead of sending a defeated army home...He just decides to drown them.

I will sing unto the Lord, for he hath triumphed gloriously: 

the horse and his rider hath he thrown into the sea. 

The Lord is my strength and song, and he is become my salvation:

He is my God...

The enemy said, I will pursue, I will overtake, I will divide the spoil; 

my lust shall be satisfied upon them; I will draw my sword, my hand shall destroy them.

Thou didst blow with thy wind, the sea covered them: they sank as lead in the mighty waters. 

For the horse of Pharaoh went in with his chariots and with his horsemen into the sea, 

and the Lord brought again the waters of the sea upon them; 

but the children of Israel went on dry land in the midst of the sea.

Who is like unto thee, O Lord , among the gods? who is like thee, glorious in holiness, fearful in praises, doing wonders? Thou in thy mercy hast led forth the people which thou hast redeemed: thou hast guided them in thy strength unto thy holy habitation. 

Fear and dread shall fall upon [the enemy]; by the greatness of thine arm they shall be as still as a stone; till thy people pass over, O Lord, 

till the people pass over, which thou hast purchased.

(Exodus 15:1, 2, 9-11, 13, 16, 19 KJV)

His own

...unto Him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in His own blood...

His own blood...

It's not just animal blood.

No. It's His. His very own.

That struck me for whatever reason. Maybe it's how the narrator says that phrase on my audio Bible.

Narrator? What about John?

This isn't a second hand tale. This is the man's best friend telling me.

"I know this to be a fact. I know where that stuff came from. My friend is the one who saved you and made you clean again. I watched it spill out of Him. And He didn't use a generic brand. It was the real stuff...

I'm telling you. He loves you."

Loves me.

Washed. Clean.

Clean. That's a good feeling you know.

...loved us, and washed us...in His own blood...