Positivity

Positivity is a good thing. I think we would all agree on that. It is powerful. But positivity alone is not enough. Have you noticed one of the most optimistic people to have ever lived is also the most evil person who has ever lived?

The devil has touted for over six thousand years, against all evidence, that he will win this war. He even knows now that he will not, but he refuses to admit it or back down. He has optimism down pat. And he has convinced a lot of people that he is right against all the evidence through out history.

No matter how positive you are about something, if it is a lie your optimism will not make it right. You must be positive about truth. You must be optimistic about what is reality.

And one thing I know is truth is that the dragon has never ever, not once won a battle with the King. He lost the most important battle on the bloody hill of calvary. Now all that remains is for his kingdom and its effects to be irradiated forever.

Sure, we look around us, even inward to our own lives, and sometimes it appears as though God is losing battles, sometimes as if He is not even putting up a fight. But that isn’t true. His infallible Word promises that He is fighting and will win overwhelmingly. (The only thing the devil can win is a human heart that surrenders itself to him and doesn’t let God fight for it. Something to take seriously.) The war is not over yet. It may take a while for truth to be seen with our eyes. We live by faith after all. But when it is all said and done, truth will triumph and every story in which the enemy appears now to have won will have the last line written. They are only unfinished stories.

Every situation, every apparent triumph of the Serpent that is given to the Prince of Love and Captain of the Lord’s host will become a trophy of grace. Every one.

And that is something you can be positive about.

But Love Said...

Written November 23, 2013

Evil said "I will steal the summer and bring cold winds whipping through. And pierce them with winters, icy blasts."

But Love said "But I will give them fire. And as they draw close to it, it warming them through, I will remind them that in me they will find warmth against the icy blasts of the world."

Evil said "I will strip the trees bare and leave their ugly skeletons." 

But Love said "But before they give up their green life I will turn them colors of the rainbow to cheer the hearts of earth. And it will remind them that there is beauty even in death. And to let Love show His colors in you to your last breath, is to live and to bless the lives of others."

Evil said "I will send ice and snow to stay their way and chill them to the bone."

But Love said "I will make the billion snowflakes each unique. As unique as every child I've fashioned that they may know their preciousness to me. And I will set a million diamonds sparkling across the frozen scape to dazzle their eyes. And it will show them that even when all seems cold and lifeless I will set diamonds in them that will shine with my beauty."

Evil said, "I will lengthen the shadows and drag the dark winter night on and on."

But Love said, "I will make the moon to shine with breathtaking beauty across the blanketed land. As they look up in the crisp air through silhouetted branches to stellar sky above and all the stars twinkling brighter, I will remind my children it is often in their darkest night when my beauty shines brightest. And there is no night so long that it is not broken with morning."

Evil said, "I will bring dark clouds, gray and gloom."

But Love said, "And if in the long night dark clouds block their view, I will remind them the stars still shine behind the clouds. And they will shine again. I will shine again. For I am Love. Stronger than death."

Love had the last word. 

What do I know?

April 11, 2014

Sometimes I have more questions than answers. More thoughts than words. More tears than cheers. Sometimes I get scared. A lot. Not of my Jesus. Not of my God. But of me. I'm scared of me. So much spins around in this world. In my world. In my head. What do I know? Sometimes it feels like I'm walking and I'm blacking out. Going blind. I sit watching the moon at 11 o'clock at night. Holding on. Tears. Reciting His words. "A little while and you will not see me." But "I will never leave you nor forsake you." He promised. So even though I can't see Him, and it scares me sometimes, I close my eyes and see Him right beside me. Holding my hand... I'll be ok...

What do I know? A few things. A lot of confusing things. But one thing I think about often. 
God is Love. 

What does that mean? I'm not entirely sure. It's kind of big. But I have some really good friends. And a really nice mom and dad. And I think it means God's even better than them. I think I can take a deep breath and go to sleep. I can trust them. I can trust Him. I put myself in His invisible hands... I'll be ok... 

There are souls perplexed with doubt, burdened with infirmities, weak in faith, and unable to grasp the Unseen; but a friend whom they can see, coming to them in Christ’s stead, can be a connecting link to fasten their trembling faith upon Christ.

DA 297.2

Feelings

 from January 22, 2014 (unrevised)
(note: some words are from my own dictionary)

Does it ever happen to you? You wake up and look outside and discover that the little imp of irritableness is sitting on your porch swing. What is he doing here? You open the door and shoo him away. But he again returns like a pesky fly that just won't be caught.

Something in the air just doesn't feel right. Where did my sense of His presence and sweet spirit go? What happened to the connection? I suppose there could be as many potential causes and variations as there are of us. Sometimes I can't identify a cause. It's just as if a cloud blotted out my Sun and I have to keep walking by faith. I don't always do so well.

Some mornings I find myself feeling tired and less than excited to focus on quiet time with God. After postponing the parting with my bed it's even more tempting to suffice with a simple devotional and prayer. After all I've already missed my time, there's lots to do, and I better stay on schedule. (What a convenient time to pull out the "schedule" card.) I won't be able to focus anyway with all the to-dos on my mind now. Right?

Well I've tried this method more times than I'd like to admit and though I may accomplish things the problem of little imp irritable is rarely solved. In fact he may end up succeeding in having a friend or two over. Darling distraction perhaps or sir self-reliance. It doesn't end well.

So this morning I find myself in such a place. Something is different inside. Can't put a finger on it but I know the feeling. And I don't like it. I turn my face towards the devotional-and-stay-on-schedule path. But this time something stops me. Why rush? Why do I think that will help matters? Perhaps it is a few phrases in my devotional reading that triggers it.

“Called aside—
Perhaps into a desert garden dim;
And yet not alone, when thou hast been with Him,
And heard His voice in sweetest accents say:
“Child, wilt thou not with Me this still hour stay?”

And then thoughts start meshing. What could it hurt to buckle down and take my unrushed time with Him? Others may have to wait on me, but why punish my Savior for my falling behind schedule?  Why focus on the fact that I'm irritable and try to wrestle it myself? *recall family worship* "Look not to self, but to Christ." MH 65.4

Further reflection. "It is not wise to look to ourselves and study our emotions. If we do this, the enemy will present difficulties and temptations that weaken faith and destroy courage. Closely to study our emotions and give way to our feelings is to entertain doubt and entangle ourselves in perplexity. We are to look away from self to Jesus." MH 249.4

Feelings are a poor gage for our status with God. Don't give them time. "At times a deep sense of our unworthiness will send a thrill of terror through the soul; but this is no evidence that God has changed toward us, or we toward God. No effort should be made to rein the mind up to a certain intensity of emotion. We may not feel today the peace and joy which we felt yesterday; but we should by faith grasp the hand of Christ, and trust him as fully in the darkness as in the light." RH, May 3, 1881. – {PH048 30.3}

And so I feel un-Christian and disconnected. What does that matter? Should it keep me away from Jesus? Or do I need Him more? Will He not be compassionate? "But the centurion said of himself, 'I am not worthy.' Yet he did not fear to ask help from Jesus. Not to his own goodness did he trust, but to the Saviour’s mercy. His only argument was his great need. Do you feel that because you are a sinner you cannot hope to receive blessing from God? Remember that Christ came into the world to save sinners. We have nothing to recommend us to God; the plea that we may urge now and ever is our utterly helpless condition, which makes His redeeming power a necessity. Renouncing all self-dependence, we may look to the cross of Calvary and say: 'In my hand no price I bring; Simply to Thy cross I cling.'” MH 65

Will He not deal with the imps and darlings? "In Christ, God has provided means for subduing every evil trait and resisting every temptation, however strong." MH 65.4

The song for worship.
"On the Rock of Ages founded,
What can shake thy sure repose?
With salvation's wall surrounded,
Thou mayst smile at all thy foes."

"We may be shut in by the promises of God, which will be as a wall of fire about us." Signs of the Times, May 22, 1884. – {PH048 39.1}

Leave your emotions to Jesus. "As a faithful physician, the world’s Redeemer has his finger upon the pulse of the soul. He marks every beat; he takes note of every throb. Not an emotion thrills it; not a sorrow shades it; not a sin stains it; not a thought or purpose passes through it, with which he is not acquainted. Man was purchased at an infinite cost, and is loved with a devotion exceeding that which a father feels for his child. The prayer that comes from a sincere heart will ever find a response in heaven." Signs of the Times, December 3, 1896. – {PH048 40.3}

You know in all my quarter of a century, this feels like the first time it's all come together. I don't know why. I've read all this over and again. But this morning was a bit of an epiphany. I'm thankful that my Jesus is patient while I learn.

Today I chose to give Him the best of my time. Today I chose to look away from self to Jesus. Today I chose to walk by faith not feeling and trust that the Sun still shines behind the clouds...and it will return.

And here's the promise. "...by persevering effort, habit will finally make it easy." {PH048 34.4}

After long silence...

It's been a long time. Nearly one year. I've wanted to write for a while. But I wasn't sure how to start again; kind of felt like I should say a formal 'hello again' first.

A blog. They're used for lots of things. Mine feels more like a journal. I don't know that I write for an audience. It feels more like I'm writing to someone. I see individuals. Nameless, faceless individuals.

My blog is a place for me. A place where I come to spill some of my cup running over. Other times it's a place where I come to drink. My soul is dry. Or hurting. And somehow in writing I am filled.

I don't expect anyone to listen. To read. I am nothing special as me. But I love Someone very special. And He's done a lot for me. I just want others to now that. I want to sing like a little bird perched high on a branch unaware of others passing by. I want to sing for Him. But my heart prays if anyone is listening it will make them want to know Him too.

This world is a hurting place. It's so hard to watch so many people hurt. But even more when they don't know or won't accept the healing my Friend offers. I want to tell them He loves them. And it's not Him who hurts them. He wants to heal them.

I've hurt too. Sometimes I wonder how much I should share of my journey. It's close to my heart. It's sacred. It's not something I want to lightly display for curious eyes. But I want so bad to tell what He's done. And for others to understand and see that what I say is not cliché. It's real. It's painfully real. It's gut wrenching sobs real. And it's overwhelmed by love real.

The silence between the previous post and this holds much. A story I would have written so differently. A story I many times feared was going to end tragically. But friend, never under estimate Grace. I never thought it would happen, but I can look into His eyes and say, "Thank you."

Oh how do I make you see? What words can I use to paint a picture of the face of Grace? Please look. Close your eyes. And look. Listen. Hear. Please....

So here begins a new chapter in this blog. May I be real. May I never make you think I have something you don't. We have the same Savior. And He is the only thing that makes us anything. I share not because I want to brag. No no. My only wish is for you, dear friend, to know His heart too. To come to the place where you can crawl in His lap. Be wrapped in His arms. In all your broken filthiness. And let Him love you. Oh what that would do!

I owe much of my experience to friends of Grace. Those who have prayed me through the darkness. Held me when I was afraid of His arms. Had faith for me when I had none. Told me again and again what He looked like when I couldn't see. Promised me I would rise again. Told me their stories and shared their healing with me. I just want to be that for somebody else. To speak in my voice His love, hope, forgiveness, patience, and grace and pray that someone needs to hear it in my language.

Welcome to...

              The healing place

So loved

I am so loved.

I am so unworthy of this love.

Yet He loves me still.

I am not loved because I deserve it, but because He deserves to have what He shed His own blood to purchase and redeem. I am ransomed with the most precious of currency. The villain set the ransom as high as he could see. He had the opportunity to name his price for the souls of the Kings treasure, and he set his sights on the life of the Life Giver. Did he reckon that I would not be considered worth that infinite value? He reckoned wrong. For the Prince of the kings of the earth stepped forward and pledged to pay the ransom. Did he hope that in the attempt the Prince would fail and he would gain not only the life of the Prince but hold still the life of the treasure upon whom he could carry out his hellish plans? He hoped in vain. Though for a while he held Life in his death grip, through the darkest night when hope slept in cold stillness, his triumph was not to endure. For when the morning came, the Prince broke the chains and rose up from the bowels of the earth victor.

This world is filled with touching love stories. Grand tales of brave acts for treasured loves. But they are nothing. They do not begin to reach the height of the love of my Prince for me. I know me. I know the depths of this sinful heart. And He knows it even better. Yet He came after me anyway. And He does again and again. He calls me His treasure.

Treasure.

To think of myself as anything less...it would require pronouncing the one who fought to the death and poured out His very blood as payment for me, a liar. In the face of such love what can I say? I am speechless. I am broken. All I can do is let Him love me. And that is all He wants.

Let me love you. Let my love transform you. I see you not as you are, but as what my love can make you. You are mine. And I delight to call you such. I am not ashamed of you. You are my treasure. And I love you.

He calls me His own. And I may call Him mine. And He has gone, but He will return. His one desire, to have me with Him where He is. He counts the days. Days unknown. Anticipating the day. The day on which He will come to take me, His treasure...home.

Here He comes

Riding on a white horse

To pull me out from the midst of my enemy

My faithful one

Here He comes

To vanquish His enemies

Fighting with a fierce love

A love stronger than death

My true one

Soft in the stillness of night

Gentle and quiet

His voice assured me again

Child I’m not finished yet

Let your heart rest

I won’t let you slip through my fingers

He holds me

Oh He holds me so closely

I am His

And by His grace He is mine

No power can loosen His grip on me

I’m so tightly held by His mighty love

Here He comes

Riding on a white horse

To pull me out from the midst of my enemy

My faithful one

Here He comes

To vanquish His enemies

Fighting with a fierce love

A love stronger than death

My true one

*Here He Comes

By: Melissa Otto

Album: Blue Sky

His own

...unto Him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in His own blood...

His own blood...

It's not just animal blood.

No. It's His. His very own.

That struck me for whatever reason. Maybe it's how the narrator says that phrase on my audio Bible.

Narrator? What about John?

This isn't a second hand tale. This is the man's best friend telling me.

"I know this to be a fact. I know where that stuff came from. My friend is the one who saved you and made you clean again. I watched it spill out of Him. And He didn't use a generic brand. It was the real stuff...

I'm telling you. He loves you."

Loves me.

Washed. Clean.

Clean. That's a good feeling you know.

...loved us, and washed us...in His own blood...

Leaning Hard

The gravel squished into the soggy ground under my shoes. A grey sky reflected my heart, as my thoughts drifted with the clouds. It was raining. That part I was happy about and was relishing an umbrella-less Sabbath afternoon walk in the welcome drops. But I was lonely. I wanted to talk to a friend, and no one was available. I thought about the different places I knew some of them were.  Several friends were newly married or reveling in a blossoming relationship. I was all alone. 

"I'm here," a voice gently said. 

"I know You are. I'm sorry... And I want You to be enough, God. But... there's just something about a real, live person." My thoughts continued down a familiar trail. When will I be ready for a special someone? When will he find me? Now, for the most part, I am a very happy single. However, I think the girl’s heart will understand when I say I still long for the day when I can share life with my husband. This is a God-given desire. But I must be alert to the temptation to let my heart pine after the fulfilling of that dream. And some days it's harder than others.

Just then I remembered a quote I'd read in a magazine while tidying up the house the week before. It was in an article complied of excerpts from Grandma Ellen's writings. "Let all the sisters feel that if they haven't a husband to lean upon, they will lean more heavily upon God."*

Lean more heavily... My thought clouds began to settle on that phrase. I have the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to enjoy a closer relationship with God right now as a single girl than when I am married someday. I don't want to miss that privilege! I am His. And He is mine. What a thought! Isaiah 54:5 came to mind. "For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is His name." And it is my privilege to lean more heavily on Him during these years. 

But I must lean.

Suddenly the rain was a thousand voices whispering His love in my ears. The wind gently caressed my cheek. I slowed my pace, stopped, to just take in the scenery. Crouching on the side of the road, I studied the raindrops. What makes them linger there on the blades of grass like so many diamonds? There is a law set in place by my Maker that tells them to. I just stared, willing my eye to capture forever their simple yet matchless beauty. And all for me. For I was alone the only one to enjoy them.

The music in my pocket was aptly singing, "Your beauty shines, Your love surrounds..." It was true. I soaked up His love like the rain falling on my jacket. The loneliness took flight as the wings of a bird. 

Oh my Love, let me lean... And lean hard.

*The Upward Look p. 147

Lean Hard

Child of My love, lean hard,

And let Me feel the pressure of thy care;

I know thy burden, child. I shaped it;

Poised it in Mine Own hand; made no proportion

In its weight to thine unaided strength,

For even as I laid it on, I said,

'I shall be near, and while she leans on Me,

This burden shall be Mine, not hers;

So shall I keep My child within the circling arms

Of My Own love.' Here lay it down, nor fear

To impose it on a shoulder which upholds

The government of worlds. Yet closer come:

Thou art not near enough. I would embrace thy care;

So I might feel My child reposing on My breast.

Thou lovest Me? I knew it. Doubt not then;

But loving Me, lean hard.

From Streams in the Desert

By Mrs. L. B. Cowman - Missionary to China and Japan

Available on iTunes and highly recommended

My dream...

The following video has put more fuel in my passion and I hope someday there will be wind under my wings. If there was an opportunity to go and work for a year in this school I would jump on it! I emailed Asian Aid and asked if they ever needed volunteers. They said they are not set up for that right now, but if it ever became a need they would remember me. I'll be sure to keep tabs.

India has held a special place in my heart ever since I was a little girl. Every time I would watch Maranatha Mission Stories with Dick Dirkson about India I would have to fight tears. I wanted to go so bad.

Children also hold a special place in my heart. I want them to know they are valued, precious, loved, and created by a God who knows their name and can speak their language...yes, even if it's sign language.

To see these two things, India and children, linked to sign language, which also has held a special place in my heart since childhood and even more recently...it has all sent my mind soaring. I picture myself there...someday.

Please, if you can spare a few pleasures in life to help the children of Asian Aid or any organization like this, do it! What can we live without to gives these children a chance at life...and a chance at eternity!

For $23/month you can give a child the chance to go to school and get an education that could transform their future.

For only $7 more ($30/month) you can give them a meal while they are at school. For some children this is the only meal they will get all day. (Remind me again how many meals you ate just yesterday?)

For only $5 more ($35/month) more your sponsored child can live at the school where they will have meals every day, clean clothes to wear, and a clean bed to sleep in at night. If they have a suitable home to return to they visit their family on the holidays.

For just an extra $10 ($45/month) you can sponsor a orphaned, deaf, blind, or college student. These children may not even have parents any more. Your small sacrifice gives them not only food, clothes, and unique education, it gives them a home which is another way to spell love. A place where they learn about Jesus.

How far would $45 get you? Less than one tank of gas? A few groceries? A pair of shoes?

How far will $45 get her? Very likely...all the way to heaven. Would you be willing to help her get there and where your shoes a little longer? Please?

To proceed to the next step click here...

Weak things...

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. - Author Unknown

"Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men. 
For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called: But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are: That no flesh should glory in his presence."  1 Corinthians 1:25-29


"Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit, saith the Lord." Zechariah 4:6



After the ascension of Jesus, doctors, lawyers, priests, rulers, scribes, and theologians listened with astonishment to words of wisdom and power from unlearned and humble men. These wise men marveled at the success of the lowly disciples, and finally accounted for it to their own satisfaction from the fact that they had been with Jesus and learned of him. Their character and the simplicity of their teachings were similar to the character and teachings of Christ, in reference to which the apostle uses these words: "God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; and base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to naught things that are: that no flesh should glory in his presence." [1 COR. 1:27-29.]--Vol. 4, p. 378. {GW92 245.1}


As in earlier ages, the special truths for this time are found, not with the ecclesiastical authorities, but with men and women who are not too learned or too wise to believe the word of God.  {COL 79.1}
Those who receive Christ as a personal Saviour will stand the test and trial of these last days. Strengthened by unquestioning faith in Christ, even the illiterate disciple will be able to withstand the doubts and questions that infidelity can produce, and put to blush the sophistries of scorners.


The Lord Jesus will give the disciples a tongue and wisdom that their adversaries can neither gainsay nor resist. Those who could not, by reasoning, overcome satanic delusions will bear an affirmative testimony that will baffle supposedly learned men. Words will come from the lips of the unlearned with such convincing power and wisdom that conversions will be made to the truth. Thousands will be converted under their testimony.
Why should the illiterate man have this power, which the learned man has not? The illiterate one, through faith in Christ, has come into the atmosphere of pure, clear truth, while the learned man has turned away from the truth. The poor man is Christ's witness. He cannot appeal to histories or to so-called high science, but he gathers from the Word of God powerful evidence. The truth that he speaks under the inspiration of the Spirit is so pure and remarkable and carries with it a power so indisputable that his testimony cannot be gainsaid.--8MR 187, 188 (1905).
Many, even among the uneducated, now proclaim the words of the Lord. Children are impelled by the Spirit to go forth and declare the message from heaven. The Spirit is poured out upon all who will yield to its promptings and, casting off all man's machinery, his binding rules and cautious methods, they will declare the truth with the might of the Spirit's power.--Ev 700 (1895).  {LDE 205, 206}

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong."  2 Corinthians 12:10

What a beautiful picture!