Leaning Hard

The gravel squished into the soggy ground under my shoes. A grey sky reflected my heart, as my thoughts drifted with the clouds. It was raining. That part I was happy about and was relishing an umbrella-less Sabbath afternoon walk in the welcome drops. But I was lonely. I wanted to talk to a friend, and no one was available. I thought about the different places I knew some of them were.  Several friends were newly married or reveling in a blossoming relationship. I was all alone. 

"I'm here," a voice gently said. 

"I know You are. I'm sorry... And I want You to be enough, God. But... there's just something about a real, live person." My thoughts continued down a familiar trail. When will I be ready for a special someone? When will he find me? Now, for the most part, I am a very happy single. However, I think the girl’s heart will understand when I say I still long for the day when I can share life with my husband. This is a God-given desire. But I must be alert to the temptation to let my heart pine after the fulfilling of that dream. And some days it's harder than others.

Just then I remembered a quote I'd read in a magazine while tidying up the house the week before. It was in an article complied of excerpts from Grandma Ellen's writings. "Let all the sisters feel that if they haven't a husband to lean upon, they will lean more heavily upon God."*

Lean more heavily... My thought clouds began to settle on that phrase. I have the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to enjoy a closer relationship with God right now as a single girl than when I am married someday. I don't want to miss that privilege! I am His. And He is mine. What a thought! Isaiah 54:5 came to mind. "For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is His name." And it is my privilege to lean more heavily on Him during these years. 

But I must lean.

Suddenly the rain was a thousand voices whispering His love in my ears. The wind gently caressed my cheek. I slowed my pace, stopped, to just take in the scenery. Crouching on the side of the road, I studied the raindrops. What makes them linger there on the blades of grass like so many diamonds? There is a law set in place by my Maker that tells them to. I just stared, willing my eye to capture forever their simple yet matchless beauty. And all for me. For I was alone the only one to enjoy them.

The music in my pocket was aptly singing, "Your beauty shines, Your love surrounds..." It was true. I soaked up His love like the rain falling on my jacket. The loneliness took flight as the wings of a bird. 

Oh my Love, let me lean... And lean hard.

*The Upward Look p. 147

Thoughts on Love

Love. 

It fascinates me. A small word with many varied and often conflicting definitions. A word so distorted in our world. 

Yet it is still the word that my God chooses to describe the very essence of Himself. And He is as misunderstood as the word itself.

Love has been a big part of my life. His power over me has been something I only understood with the passing of time. But He has convinced me. He said His love is the only thing that can change me. And He was right. And it is changing me.

How to explain all that I want to... It is too much. Some of it cannot be explained. A few of you will understand. It can only be experienced. And oh I pray you will let Love convince you too! Please?

But Love changing you is not enough for Him. Once Love has made His dwelling in our hearts He desires to flow out. And the mighty power of His love is channeled through our lives to work the same unbelievable changes in the world around us as happened in our own lives. Such a small thing love is. But it is greater than the greatest empire, stronger than the army man, and will win where all else has lost.

"...the excellence and value of pure love consist in its efficiency to do good, and to do nothing else than good. Love will gain the victory when argument and authority are powerless. It is diffusive in its nature, and quiet in its operation, yet strong, mighty, to overcome great evils. It is melting and transforming in its influence, and will take hold of the lives of the sinful and affect their hearts when every other means has proved unsuccessful."

And our merciful Father values it highly.

"Love works not for profit nor reward; yet God has ordained that great gain shall be the certain result of every labor of love. Whatsoever is done out of pure love, be it ever so little or contemptible in the sight of men, is wholly fruitful; for God regards more with how much love one worketh, than the amount he doeth."

"Love should be cherished and cultivated, for its influence is divine."

Let Him love. 

Let Him live. 

Quotes from Gospel Workers 311, 312