It's been a long time. Nearly one year. I've wanted to write for a while. But I wasn't sure how to start again; kind of felt like I should say a formal 'hello again' first.
A blog. They're used for lots of things. Mine feels more like a journal. I don't know that I write for an audience. It feels more like I'm writing to someone. I see individuals. Nameless, faceless individuals.
My blog is a place for me. A place where I come to spill some of my cup running over. Other times it's a place where I come to drink. My soul is dry. Or hurting. And somehow in writing I am filled.
I don't expect anyone to listen. To read. I am nothing special as me. But I love Someone very special. And He's done a lot for me. I just want others to now that. I want to sing like a little bird perched high on a branch unaware of others passing by. I want to sing for Him. But my heart prays if anyone is listening it will make them want to know Him too.
This world is a hurting place. It's so hard to watch so many people hurt. But even more when they don't know or won't accept the healing my Friend offers. I want to tell them He loves them. And it's not Him who hurts them. He wants to heal them.
I've hurt too. Sometimes I wonder how much I should share of my journey. It's close to my heart. It's sacred. It's not something I want to lightly display for curious eyes. But I want so bad to tell what He's done. And for others to understand and see that what I say is not cliché. It's real. It's painfully real. It's gut wrenching sobs real. And it's overwhelmed by love real.
The silence between the previous post and this holds much. A story I would have written so differently. A story I many times feared was going to end tragically. But friend, never under estimate Grace. I never thought it would happen, but I can look into His eyes and say, "Thank you."
Oh how do I make you see? What words can I use to paint a picture of the face of Grace? Please look. Close your eyes. And look. Listen. Hear. Please....
So here begins a new chapter in this blog. May I be real. May I never make you think I have something you don't. We have the same Savior. And He is the only thing that makes us anything. I share not because I want to brag. No no. My only wish is for you, dear friend, to know His heart too. To come to the place where you can crawl in His lap. Be wrapped in His arms. In all your broken filthiness. And let Him love you. Oh what that would do!
I owe much of my experience to friends of Grace. Those who have prayed me through the darkness. Held me when I was afraid of His arms. Had faith for me when I had none. Told me again and again what He looked like when I couldn't see. Promised me I would rise again. Told me their stories and shared their healing with me. I just want to be that for somebody else. To speak in my voice His love, hope, forgiveness, patience, and grace and pray that someone needs to hear it in my language.
Welcome to...
The healing place

Welcome back, my friend. :) I think you and I write for the same reasons, but then we have the same God...
ReplyDeleteThank you, friend. :) Yes. And isn't He good?
DeleteSo glad you're back, J! I resonate with a lot of what you wrote... I can't wait to read more posts from you! (and yes, blogging is like a journal for me too. I've been rather negligent with mine for the last few months as well, but made a decision to get back in to posting once a week. Actually, it's a good challenge as it gets me to put my thoughts into words :)).
ReplyDeleteIt's good to be back! :) I have a little pile of posts waiting, but my sense of order just had to say 'hi' first. *sheepish grin*
DeleteI look forward to reading your posts too!
The healing place... I love that name and I can't wait to read more posts :)
ReplyDeleteVanessa, I'm glad you are blessed :)
DeleteI missed reading your posts! So good to hear that you'll be writing more, again. :)
ReplyDeleteMissed. :) That is special to hear. I'm glad you enjoyed them. I enjoy writing them. I pray they encourage you towards my Jesus.
DeleteI found your blog this morning and browsed a few posts too. I'm trying to remember if we've met. Forgive me if we have. I know when have many mutual friends. I just lose track of who I've "met" online and who I have met in person. :) I'm so glad you having a good time there at Sunshine Orchard. Give the Steck girls my greetings and hugs. Blessings to you all there!
I have to say it's with tears that I read...oh my friend. I love you! And I'm so glad you are "back". :) There is a lot to that word...
ReplyDeleteI love the name...may this truly be a place of healing for all who "stop past". Hugs!
Oh Abby... a lot indeed. You are a friend of Grace. I have tears of gratitude. Your comment make me smile. :)
DeleteMy heart prays your same prayer...in a special way. Hugging back! I love you too!
Love the name J. It holds so much....
ReplyDeleteI love you J. :) Holds...only because of our Jesus...
DeleteAhh Jenae...yes...to all of this. How my heart resonates...
ReplyDeleteAnd can I let you know how much I have missed your posts? Although I hardly have posted over the past year, I still read blogs and your presence was missed, but I have been praying for you. In the silence I sensed a need to pray, and I am so glad you are back.
And this post? it IS so healing. Been in my own way trying to be more consistent in sharing His goodness in my life, but it has been so hard...because like you said, "it's sacred"...and the internet, it just began to feel so...public, and my journey, so fragile... and an "audience" is the last thing I want, but I have found some of the deepest healing through simply just clicking "post"...ahhh...even now my heart struggles to express all the nuances of it all...but your beautiful post, how it has blessed...
"My only wish is for you... to know His heart"--yes...and I have seen His heart through your words, friend. Apologies for the long rant, feel free to hit delete:) just had to share my gratitude. Love you and looking forward to hearing more from this past year of lessons.
Sara! I love your words... Delete? Never. I hold them close to my heart. That you too sensed in the silence my need for prayer? I am humbled as I continue to hear of certain people whom God impressed to pray for me during this last year who had no idea what was going on. He is too good to me. I don't deserve it...and He knows that best.
DeleteI see His heart in you. I'm glad you've seen His heart through me. The only thing that's good in us is Jesus. I look forward to sharing Him together. :) Love you!
this name holds His smile soft. I'd say welcome back, but then, you aren't returning to an old familiar place... Welcome to the beautiful new.
ReplyDeleteThank you. It is beautiful. In a unique way. I'm so thankful for His patience though with this girl who is still learning to not live in the memories of the old and familiar. This heart does not run to adventure. But He has blessed me with many friends to make the journey easier...
DeleteI'm feeling that I might be redundant after such a string of comments. But I guess you'll just have to bear with my redundancy. :)
ReplyDeleteI've already read this post more than once. And each time it hits me afresh. The power of God to transform.
I remember the journey. I remember last year. And I couldn't be happier to shout with face full of smiles and joyful tears turned heavenward and say, "Thank you, Father. You've done it again. I knew You would."
Looking forward to continuing the journey together… <3
Oh the bearing is easy! :)
DeleteI love journeying with you, dear friend... Thank you for your faith in Him for me. :)
Beautiful post... And glad God brought you through. I want to second what Sean said: "Welcome to the beautiful new." And may He continue to bring you through this journey.
ReplyDeleteI resonate with this post. It's hard to know how much of the journey to share on a blog. But continue seeking God to guide you what to share when, and He can use it to bless others. Hugs! :-)
Thank you, Lydia. :) For Him to use is my wish indeed. Hugs back!
Deletei'm listening...
ReplyDelete:) you are a good listener, friend... thanks for that gift.
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